I’m back. Random Birthday Massacre hatred INCOMING
Because I can’t be bothered to write a proper argument, here’s the top 10 Birthday Massacre songs that come from searching for ‘birthday massacre’ on Youtube – next to bands that were going for the same sort of thing, to prove that anything that this nauseating band can do, someone out there can do better. Besides, forcing myself to listen to this glurge is refreshing. It makes me look at my own music collection with pride, which is a very rare thing. Really. (Actually, I’m very arrogant. >.<)
1. Blue
“Ohh, look at me! I’m so iconic what with my bunny ears, creepy dolls and beheadings!” You know, never mind the fact that the video really ISN’T that unique, and the song is formulaic. (Analogish synths are not helping your case on originality. Some people can make it work, but you really can’t.)
For the song itself: Gathering Fingers by Stolen Babies
It’s a song with two sides, but it actually makes you wait for the metalish part. It uses a unique structure, the hard-edged section hits harder and all-in-all it’s more disturbing, and equally more fun.
For the video: Labyrinth by Oomph!
Sure, it’s referencing Alice in Wonderland so it can’t be called original… except it can, to some extent. It has a better-executed (no pun intended) twist ending, Dero de Large The Hatter is cute and acts well (if not a little over the top), and the maze design’s nicer. Why, yes, that is a totally valid reason.
This should take no time at all. Did you know that Looking Glass was released in 2008, and Optics (from which Cursive Eve is taken) is from 2007?
3. In The Dark
Wow. This band stoops to new lows every time. Evanescence to the rescue!
4. Red Stars
Yeah yeah yeah we get it already. Shut up with the goddamn false heaviness. This doesn’t quite fit, but the heaviness does – and the singer automatically makes up for it.
Nearly Dead Bat Make-Up by Pin-Up Went Down
Lyric-writing is so basic. It fails at disturbing, you know, like most of this band. They should TOTALLY have had the nerve to put silhouettes of the meat grinder bunnies from Psychonauts on their album covers. Maybe then they’d finally have my respect. Anyways, I turn to Stolen Babies once more. You think you know ear worms from Chibi and Rainbow and all the rest? You clearly haven’t heard So Close.
Ah, the song that made me despise this band in the first place. I give you a less full-on equivalent.
Gothic Lolita by Emilie Autumn
7. Video Kid
Answer: the synth sounds. At least CC can do something interesting with them. That is all.
8. Goodnight
9. Lover’s End
Oh dear. I’m having to repeat songs I’ve already used, this band is so goddamn generic.
10. Nevermind
You know what? No. There is nothing in my collection that can even be similar to this… this monstrosity. Kill it with fucking fire and get out of my sight.
Kthxbai,
Moni x
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This entry was posted on January 23, 2011 at 11:59 pm and is filed under Anti-recommendations, Recommendations with tags darkwave, industrial, metal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
